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The Oprah Winfrey Show
In the late 1970s, the newsreader of a Baltimore TV station felt totally exhausted. Every day, she dragged herself to work, visibly uncomfortable in her role as a newsreader. Her bosses noticed too and did not mince their words: “They said I was the wrong colour, the wrong size and that I showed too much emotion.” She slowly faded away.
Not long after, she was demoted to co-host the unpopular talk show: ‘People Are Talking’. She immediately felt at home and knew that she was much better off there. She enjoyed her work again and flourished rapidly.
That demotion turned out to be the start of a very successful career.
Not long after, a much larger TV station in Chicago spotted her and made an offer she could not refuse. In early 1985, she started hosting the morning show, and within a month, it rose from last place to first place in the local Chicago ratings. Not long after, the show was renamed after her: The Oprah Winfrey Show.
Downward spiral
Oprah Winfrey had fallen into a downward spiral of listlessness and misery. The demotion turned out to be her blessing. Often, people stay too long in a job that makes them unhappy. The decision to resign and leave can be quite difficult, especially if you feel very committed to the organisation or your colleagues. You have become (too) attached, and leaving feels like ending a relationship. But sometimes, it is the only way forward.
Should I stay or should I go?
How do you know when you should leave? Here are ten signs it is time to go:
#1. You are exhausted
You feel tired and lack the energy to do even the things you love. Your colleagues notice that your spark has disappeared. You have done everything you can to change things for the better, but you still feel unseen and undervalued. Decide to leave, but recover first before you go (taking the decision will relieve you; use that energy to start focusing on the outside world).
#2. You career stalls
You find it difficult to show your best every day, and that gnaws at you. Your current job is not challenging enough, and you feel uncomfortable in your role. You know you know you have so much more to give, but there aren’t any opportunities to grow. Your career is at a standstill.
#3. You are bored out of your mind
Every day, you see many opportunities to improve your work and the workplace. You are full of ideas and suggestions, but your manager does not allow you to colour outside the lines. You have to hold back constantly while easy-to-fix problems continue to exist. Boredom kicks in and turns into frustration. An organisation that doesn’t value the extra mile you go is not worth staying at.
#4. The work culture no longer aligns with your values
You are a go-getter, and when you see a wrongdoing, you speak up. Whenever possible, you take ownership of the issue and fix it. However, your manager is not supporting you, or worse, works against you, and you soon hit a wall. If your proactive attitude is not tolerated or even punished, you know it’s time to go (before you become a cynic).
#5. You have become way too cynical
There is a point of no return. You have become so tired and energy-drained that your jokes shifted to irony, irony turned into sarcasm, and sarcasm became cynicism. Your work pleasure has vanished, fewer and fewer co-workers want to talk to you, and too much damage has been done.
#6. You have burned too many bridges
When you’re always critical and have had some conflicts, people start avoiding you and no longer want to collaborate. Especially if you have not been able to translate your critical view into concrete improvements, people higher up in the organisation will never hire you for a role in their team. And thus, your effectiveness (and work pleasure!) has dropped to almost zero.
#7. No one at work supports you anymore
When you started to work for the organisation, you had a bunch of good friends at work who you could always go to for advice and support. However, the number of supporters has decreased over time, and you’re now in a position where you have become isolated. Start over somewhere else, but self-reflect and discover how you can improve your behaviour to prevent the same thing from happening in your next job.
#8. Your buddies have already jumped ship
Your buddies at work are the ones who make it fun and whom you can turn to when the going gets tough. When they leave, you can feel lonely, and the work is no longer as joyful as it once was. When that disappears, it gets (too) lonely. Ask yourself why they left, because that could be a sign that the culture within the organisation is changing and that you no longer fit in well either.
#9. You get an offer you can't refuse
When another organisation recognises your talents and makes you a fantastic offer, don’t let the feeling of guilt for leaving the organisation you love so much dominate and go for it. Often, you are much more loyal to an organisation than it is the other way around. Appreciate the great time you have had, and move on.
#10. It doesn't get any better than this
You managed to get a role that suits you perfectly. One that you cannot believe is happening, and you know that it’s pretty unlikely you will get a role like that again. Then do like Oprah Winfrey. At the height of her success, she stopped with her immensely successful talk show. Because no matter how difficult it is, you can better quit when you are at a high than when you are at a low.
Warning: don't give up too quickly
Running away from tough situations is often the easy way out, but you will learn the most from these challenging circumstances. So, before you decide to quit, challenge yourself to see if you can turn the situation into something positive.
This article was originally published in Dutch on MT/Sprout, the most popular business and management platform in the Netherlands.
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