Why we love calling others idiots

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Nutcase!

It is a bright blue summer’s day, and a postie is cycling through the city’s narrow streets, whistling as he goes. He is enjoying the sunshine and quietly getting on with his job. Then a car approaches. There is barely enough room for the postie to pass. He squeezes by, his panniers just brushing against the car.

Immediately, a voice bellows from the open window: “Hey, nutcase! Stop acting like such an idiot!”. Caught off guard, the postie instinctively tries to defend himself, but the driver refuses to listen. He speeds off, fuming.

So what was actually happening? There was enough space in the street for the driver to move over slightly, allowing the postie to pass comfortably. In other words, the driver had created the problem himself but either failed to recognise it or chose not to. Instead, he concluded that the postie was behaving antisocially.

Attribution bias

We don’t just encounter situations like this on the road; they happen just as often in the workplace. Perhaps with rather less colourful language, but how often have you found yourself thinking about a colleague who says or does something that, from your perspective, seems clumsy or ill-considered: ‘What an idiot!’?

The psychological phenomenon at work here is known as the fundamental attribution error. It describes our tendency to attribute other people’s behaviour too readily to their personality or character, rather than to the circumstances they are facing. Interestingly, we tend to do exactly the opposite when judging ourselves. We explain our own mistakes by pointing to the situation, and it is rarely our own fault. In other words, we tend to judge others by their character, while judging ourselves by our circumstances.

Most of us are all too familiar with this bias. If someone arrives late to a meeting, we are quick to assume they do not take the meeting seriously. But if we arrive late ourselves, we blame an unexpected traffic jam or a previous meeting that overran. Similarly, if a colleague gives a poor presentation, we may conclude that they simply aren’t a good presenter. Yet when our own presentation falls flat, we are more likely to blame a lack of preparation time or technical problems.

Tension in the workplace

In the workplace, we are remarkably quick to jump to conclusions about one another. Rather than considering the circumstances, we instinctively attach a label to the person. And that is where things start to go wrong. When we misinterpret someone’s behaviour, trust begins to erode, and irritation and misunderstanding quickly take their place. Feedback then misses the mark: instead of asking what was happening or what obstacles someone was facing, we tell them they are just not motivated enough.

For managers, this is perhaps one of the greatest pitfalls. Those who immediately attribute behaviour to someone’s character risk overlooking what is really driving it. Yet that is often where the real solution lies. If underlying issues such as excessive workloads, unclear expectations or inefficient processes are left unaddressed, the same behaviours will persist. Not because employees lack the willingness to perform, but because the system itself is standing in their way.

#DOESLIEF (#JUSTBEKIND)

On top of that, everyone’s fuse seems to be getting shorter. We are becoming increasingly determined to prove ourselves right, while our tolerance for different opinions and perspectives appears to be shrinking. Social media only reinforces this tendency. We largely inhabit our own online bubbles, where we are exposed to short, decontextualised snippets designed to provoke an immediate, and often negative, reaction.

At the same time, heavy workloads and constant time pressure encourage us to make snap judgements. Rather than taking the time to understand the circumstances or consider alternative explanations for someone’s behaviour, we instinctively jump to conclusions.

Research conducted by SIRE in 2019 found that many people in the Netherlands believed social norms were in decline. That is, they believed other people’s behaviour was becoming less considerate. Unsurprisingly, however, three-quarters of respondents described themselves as considerate towards others. In response, SIRE launched the #DOESLIEF (’Just Be Kind’) campaign, encouraging people to reflect on their own behaviour and become more aware of how they can come across as unfriendly or inconsiderate.

In the other person’s shoes

We are often unaware of how unkind we can be. We fail to see the impact our behaviour has on others, even though we know all too well how it feels when someone treats us the same way. Becoming more aware of our own behaviour, as encouraged by the #DOESLIEF campaign, is therefore an important first step.

Another powerful habit is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Try to see the situation from the perspective of the person you have already dismissed as an idiot. Ask yourself: What else could be going on here? That simple question forces you to pause and suspend your initial judgement.

Then challenge yourself to come up with at least two plausible explanations for the person’s behaviour that are based on the situation rather than on their character. Perhaps they are under pressure, dealing with a personal problem, or responding to circumstances you know nothing about. You may not be right, but by considering alternative explanations you become less likely to fall into the trap of the fundamental attribution error.

Don’t take things so personally

Daniel Stalder, a social psychologist and Professor of Psychology at the University of Wisconsin–Whitewater, has studied this phenomenon extensively. His research found that people who pay greater attention to the context of a situation are less likely to take others’ behaviour personally. They are slower to judge, remain calmer when treated poorly, and are less likely to become defensive.

But if you really want to do something radical, try this: talk to the person. Not to tell them what they did wrong. Not to explain why they are the problem. But to find out what was actually going on. Replace judgement with curiosity. Ask questions before concluding. It sounds almost revolutionary these days.

This article was originally published in Dutch on MT/Sprout, the most popular business and management platform in the Netherlands.