Dr Rebel: 5 things you should never say to a rebel
Today’s question: Somehow, I always seem to say things that piss off the rebel in my team. What am I doing wrong?
In 2001, Microsoft announced they would launch a ‘pen-enabled’ Personal Computer called the Microsoft Tablet PC. It failed miserably: “Nobody wants a big phone or a bad laptop.”
But in 2010, Apple launched the iPad and it changed everything. At Apple, they didn’t look at Microsoft’s attempt and think: “Okay, great idea but we’ve seen how that plays out. Let’s leave it to that.” While saying things like ‘We’ve tried that before’ discourages many people from continuing to work on the issue, it fuels a rebel to really go for it.
Rebels are not like you
Rebels are probably not like you, and that is a good thing. Their mind works differently. What makes them tick might scare you, and what excites you may be boring to them. That means you cannot rely on saying the things that would comfort you. The best way to improve your relationship is to gain more understanding of rebellious behaviour. Read more about what makes a rebel, and use these five tips below!
What never to say to a rebel
Here are five things you should never say to a rebel (plus a suggestion on what would work better):
#1: Why do you bother so much? Just let it go…
Rebels have a strong urge to improve things, even if it lies outside their responsibilities. Whenever they see an inefficiency or an opportunity to do something simpler, they are more than eager to get it fixed or done. Just be happy you have such passionate people in your team and embrace their proactive attitude. And thus, in this case, say: “How can I help you get it done?”
#2: That’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard!
A rebel’s mind is a magical place. It can tie seemingly random ideas together and come up with solutions and concepts that go beyond your imagination. But a rebel’s pitfall is they don’t always realise people cannot follow them in their thinking. They get so enthusiastic about their idea that they forget to take the time to take others along with their thinking. So, whenever a rebel shares an idea you may find dumb or crazy, don’t write it off but respond with curiosity: “I have never thought out about it that way. Where did you get this idea, and how could it work for us?”
#3: We are not supposed to do this
One thing is for sure… rebels hate to follow the rules, but only if they don’t make any sense. They have an eye for unlogical procedures and unnecessary bureaucracy. Whenever they colour outside the lines, it’s not because they want to but because they feel they have no choice. When rebels deviate from protocol, don’t judge them but ask for their reasoning. I’m 100% sure you’ll get a thought-out answer and an opportunity for improvement.
#4: Can you please slow down?
When rebels get excited about something, they go all in and seem unstoppable. Their enthusiasm is contagious, and soon others join. They get the ball rolling; do you want to be the one stopping that? So, enjoy the ride, and say: “Once you have finished this initiative, could you help me with another topic that needs your energy to get moving?”
#5: We’ve tried this before
Rebels are at their best when they are challenged. The more complex the topic, the more eager they are to get their hands on it and do it. From experience, they know they can trust their creative mind to think up a workable solution. When someone says that things have been tried before, the underlying message is that it won’t work or that it’s pointless to go for it. For rebels, this feels like they are not taken seriously. Don’t underestimate a rebel’s creative mind, and say: “I love that you are putting your teeth into such a tough topic. Whenever you bump into roadblocks, I’ll help remove them.”
Rebel BINGO cards
There are playful ways to increase your understanding of how the rebel’s mind works and what triggers them. Using the rebel BINGO cards is a great way to do so. There’s one card for a rebels’ co-workers, and there’s one for rebels:
- Oh no! We have a rebel in our team – bingo card
- Oh no! I am a rebel, now what – bingo card
Both bingo cards are available in English and Dutch. Download them for free!
do you have a burning question for dr rebel?